Crazy's Pick
by Dapper Dee VI
Summary: Annoyed that Master Hand didn't let him choose the newcomers, Crazy Hand invites his own. After the first few chapters, I will accept requests, (only of chapter content, not new characters) but there is a story arc in progress. Updates every weekend!
1. Chapter 1: Holes in the Walls

**My first Smash fic! Whoo! There probably won't be many more updates until SSB4 is released, also, I OWN NOTHING! Just getting the disclaimer over and done with. Enjoy and review!**

It was a fairly average day at the Smash Mansion, well, apart from the obvious lack of Smashers. In his office, the omnipotent floating white glove in charge, Master Hand, was busy hovering up and down his room, which was probably the hand equivalent of pacing. Without warning, his train if thought was unexpectedly derailed by another omnipotent floating white glove, Master Hand's slightly insane brother Crazy Hand, who suddenly crashed through the wall, leaving a Crazy Hand-shaped hole in the side of Master Hand's office.

"Bro! Bro!" yelled the Hand excitedly, "I've had an idea, come quick!"

"Crazy," sighed Master Hand "How many times have I told you to use the door?"

"Oh right, sorry, yeah," apologised Crazy Hand, reversing through the hole, before crashing through the door, leaving a Crazy Hand-shaped hole in that too. "Any better?" he asked hopefully.

"Not really, no," admitted Master Hand, "Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got some work to be cracking on with…"

Crazy Hand eyelessly (new word!) scanned his sibling. "Err, Master Hand," he said, "You look kinda… stressed,"

"It's this tournament," replied Master Hand, "This setting up is very… taxing,"

Crazy Hand soothing patted him on the 'back' with his thumb, "Chillax, bro," he said, "This is like your fourth tournament! Remember: you've done this before. A lot actually,"

"I know," replied Master Hand "It's just that… I've got a nagging feeling that I've forgotten something,"

"Let's see…" pondered Crazy Hand, "Have you… set up the stages?"

"Yes,"

"Shipped in the items?"

"Yep,"

"Arranged the Trophy Gallery?"

"Yeah,"

"Bought the food,"

"Of course,"

"Made the bedrooms?"

"Done,"

"Got the decorations for 'Welcome' party?"

"Indeed,"

"Invited the Smashers?"

"Yes, of course I invited th- oh no! I don't believe it! I forgot to invite the Smashers!"

Master Hand then proceeded to have a major panic attack. In a rare moment of sense, Crazy Hand grabbed to panicked hand by the wrist and smacked him. Hard.

"Pull yourself together!" he said, "You've still got time,"

Master Hand snapped out if his worry. "You're right," he said, "I'll start the invitations right away!"

"No no no no, not _yet_!" insisted Crazy Hand, "You need to see my idea first!"

"Uh, Crazy?" Master Hand asked cautiously, "This isn't going to be like your 'other' ideas, is it?"

Master Hand winced at the memories of Crazy Hand's 'other' ideas, which, for reasons known only to Crazy, involved relocating the entire mansion to the moon and even covering it in melted cheese.

"Err, no," Crazy Hand reassured his brother, "I am 71% sure it is a good idea. Trust me on this. Please."

And with that, he flew through the wall again, adding another Crazy Hand-shaped hole in the side of Master Hand's office. Master Hand sighed and followed him, muttering to himself about how he needed some help around the mansion.


	2. Chapter 2: Primids

**Hey! This will be my last update before the release of SSB4, so enjoy and sit tight, and don't forget to review!**

Master Hand followed his brother outside, and stopped in the courtyard, where Crazy Hand was floating next to something covered by a white sheet.

"Uh, Crazy?" asked Master Hand uncertainly, "What's under the sheet?"

"Behold, my latest idea!" announced Crazy Hand, whipping off the cover revealing a group of about twenty little humanoid beings, wearing green on their torso, brown gloves and shoes, a little green hats on their heads, each with a little red feather, they had pitch black skin and red eyes. They were… Primids.

"What the…?" began Master Hand, "PRIMIDS!? Why on earth would you let these thing into mansion? They're dangerous, Crazy, dangerous,"

He looked at the huddled group of green-clad beings. One of them waved.

"Actually, Tabuu's Primid's were dangerous because he made them to be dangerous, and I'm not dangerous, am I?"

"Well, that's a subject open for debate…"

"More dangerous than Tabuu?"

"No," said Master Hand, suddenly deathly serious, "_No-one _is more dangerous than Tabuu,"

"Good, and I made mine to s-"

"You _made _them? How? When? Why?"

"Sheesh!"said Crazy Hand, "One question at a time!"

"OK, first question; How did you do this?"

"With this!" replied Crazy Hand. He snapped his fingers and a small glass jar appeared. He held it between his thumb and forefinger. In it, sat a little black floating 'Z', slowly turning around, hovering.

"And that is…?" asked Master Hand, bemused.

"Y'know Mr Game and Watch?"

"Yes,"

"Y'know how Shadow Bugs can be extracted from him infinitely?"

"So I've been told,"

"And y'know when he sleeps he makes those little cartoon 'Z's?"

"Indeed,"

"Well, I got one of those 'Z's in this jar, and, using your hoover, I-"

"_My _hoover?"

"Yes, your hoover, keep up, I extracted enough Shadow Bugs to make these little Primids,"

He clicked his fingers and the jar vanished again.

"OK, secondly; Why in the World of Trophies would you ever do something like this?" asked Master Hand.

"I realised you might need some help around the mansion, so I made these guys to follow any order we give to them. Watch this," he turned and faced one of them. Pointing to it he said "You, Primid, climb that wall,"

The Primed saluted and scrabble up the two meter-high wall.

"Now jumps off it, face first!"

The Primid leapt off the wall and bellyflopped the stone ground. Crazy Hand fell about in fits of laughter.

"Hahahahah!" laughed the hand, "It's good, isn't it? Don't worry, they don't feel pain, watch,"

Master Hand looked on as Crazy Hand approached the fallen Primid. He winced as his left-handed sibling flicked the Primid into the air, caught it in his enclosed fusty, squeezed it a couple of times, slapped in onto the ground, and then punched it.

"Was that really necessary?" asked Master Hand, looking at the beaten-up Primid. During the ordeal, it had lost is right arm, and Shadow Bugs were pouring out of its frame like stuffing from a doll. The Primid stared at its severed limb blankly, before picking it up and re-attaching it to its body.

"Yeah, I kinda made them indestructible, knowing what a dangerous place this can be…" admitted Crazy Hand, "But look, they do more than make me laugh," He pointed to another couple of Primids, "Primids, put up the 'Welcome' banner," he instructed.

They saluted, rushed off and returned with the banner and two stepladders. They expertly set them down, climbed up them and hung the banner over the door, before hurriedly returning the stepladders to the mansions shed, where a man could wander in for days and never make it out.

"You did this… for me?" Master Hand to Crazy.

"Yep,"

"That's… nice," he said "In a twisted crazy sort if way,"

"My specialty," replied Crazy, "Now, let's right those invites, I can wait to vote for my newcomers,"

"Um, about that…" said Master Hand, as they floated back to his office, "I've already decided who to invite,"

"B-but we always vote, every time!"

"Sorry, Crazy, but I've made the list," said Master Hand, who snapped his fingers, making a list appear with the Smasher's names on, which Crazy quickly read.

"Yeah, these are good, but I've got my own newco-"

"Sorry Crazy, but it's not happening this year, now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to write some invites,"

He flew into his office and slammed the door in Crazy's 'face', which didn't really work due to the Crazy Hand-shaped hole in it. Crazy grumbled and floater off to his office (a cleared out broom cupboard) and sulked.

"Stupid Master Hand, not letting me choose the newcomers, now they'll never bet to fight" Then an idea hit him.

"Unless, I invited them myself!"

He hurriedly pocked up a pen and began scribbling down his own invites, gleefully fantasising about them destroying Master Hand's newcomers in battle.


	3. Chapter 3: Final Preparations

**Now all the fighters have been revealed (hopefully), I can start up the story again! Yay! And reviews are worth their weight in gold!**

_The day of the fourth Smash Bros. Tournament_

The sun was shining over the new Smash Mansion, it's many windows gleaming in the daylight, the large garden's flowers were blooming, soaking up the warm yellow rays of solar energy, the front law was a vivid green, small picnic tables dotted around, and a floating white glove was putting the finishing touches to the decorations. "A little to the left," instructed Crazy Hand, causing a large banqueting table being held by about ten Primids to be nudged slightly to the left. "A little more… a little more, no not that far, back a bit… there, perfect!"

The Primids placed the table down, and relaxed a little. Crazy Hand looked at them quizzically. "Well?" he asked, "What are you all standing around like lemons for? Bring in the table cloth and food!"

The Primids saluted and rushed inside. Four appeared again, each holding a corner of a long white table cloth. They placed it on the table, and hurried back inside. Immediately, all the Primids began to ferry in plates of huge amounts of foods. There were cocktail sausages, sausage rolls, scotch eggs, carrot sticks, bowls piled high with every flavour of crisp under the sun, sandwiches filled with a multitude of fillings, cakes of many kinds, ice creams, biscuits, cookies, jelly (jello), tarts, fruit, fizzy drinks, bowls of punch, and many many more types if food. By the end, the table was groaning with the weight of enough food to keep an army going for a week. "Great," announced Crazy Hand, "This should keep them going until dinner!" He turned to the door. "Master Hand!" he shouted, "The snack bails ready!"

Crazy Hand's brother floated to the doorway. "Oh, good," he said, "The Primids are starting on the 'Welcome' banquet as we speak, and I've finished making the bedrooms,"

"Looks like everything's done then!" said Crazy Hand, and they began floating back inside the mansion, but they stopped when the reached a Primid.

"Primid," Master Hand said to it, "I've got one last job for you,"

He clicked his fingers and a sign appeared. The Primid caught it. The sign read the following:

_Would all newcomers please report to the side door to the left of the building, all veterans are to simply stay in the courtyard, until called into the main hall._

_Master Hand_

"Just put it near the front entrance were everyone can see it. Oh, and you may need this," he said, clicking his fingers again, causing a wooden mallet to appear in the Primid's arms. The Primid nodded and began to walk towards the entrance, but was stopped by Crazy Hand.

"Change of plans," he said, when he was sure Master Hand was out of earshot. "Instead of that sign…" he said, pointing to it, and clicked his fingers. A dustbin appear, and he took the sign, threw it in the bin, and clicked his fingers again, causing the dustbin to disappear,

"…Put up this one!" he announced, clicking his fingers again, and a larger sign appeared in the Primid's arms. This sign read:

_Would all newcomers invited by Master Hand please report to the side door to the right of the building, all veterans invited by Master Hand are to simply stay in the courtyard, until called into the main hall. However, those newcomers and veterans invited only by Crazy Hand, please report to the side door to the left of the building._

_The Hands_

The Primid saluted and walked up to the front entrance and hammered the sign into the ground.

**Done! The next chapter will begin introducing (Master Hand's) veterans! Toodlepip!**


	4. Chapter 4: Early Arrivals

**I know I've updated this story recently, but who cares?**

It was 6:00pm, and the sun was hanging that little bit lower in the sky, but the day was far from over, in fact, it had only just begun.

In front of the Smash Mansion, a green Warp Pipe unexpectedly appeared, growing out of the ground quite suddenly. Immediately, a red-clad figure leapt out, yelling a cheerful cry of "Yahoo!" as he landed, suitcase in hand. He turned and looked at the Warp Pipe. "It's-a ok, Luigi!" Mario called down the tube, "We are-a here!"

"Okey-dokey," came a slightly nervous reply, and another figure, this time clad in green, leapt out of the Warp Pipe. Well, he attempted to at least, but his foot got caught on the rim and he tripped, smashing his face against the side of the metal pipe, and dropped, hitting his head on the floor.

"Mamma Mia…" he groaned, dazed by the accident.

"Oh dear, Luigi are-a you ok? Do you need-a Doctor Mario to help-a you out?" asked his elder brother, stooping over him. Luigi stood up and brushed himself down.

"No, I'm-a ok!" he said, cheerily, "It's-a only a headache,"

Mario nodded and gazed up at the new Smash Mansion. It was certainly much more spectacular than ever before. Mario wondered if Master Hand still sunk the old mansions into the ground and built the newer one on top. He shook his head, knowing these thoughts were useless. It was nice to be back at the mansion after so long ; he had missed some of the friends he'd made, and he now found himself worrying if they'd made the newest tournament or not.

"What are-a you waiting-a for?" asked Luigi, snapping Mario out of his thoughts.

"Let's-a go!" he agreed, dashing up to the main gates, Luigi in close pursuit.

They slowed as they reached the entrance and walked in. They wandered up to the door, but Luigi suddenly let out a cry of fright, and began cowering in fear. Mario walked over to him, and noticed the cause of his alarm. A Primid was slowly walking towards them, and Mario gasped, thinking they had been wiped out along with Tabuu. He instinctively dropped his suitcases and positioned himself in a fighting stance, ready to punch the Primid to Skyworld if he had to. But he was even more surprised, however, when the Primid pushed a glass of punch and a sausage roll into his hands, and walked back the way it came.

"What-a happened?" asked Luigi, who had his back turned in fright, still whimpering.

"It just-a gave me food and drink," replied Mario. "But I don't know-a why!"

"Look!" said Luigi, pointing to a wall, "At-a the sign!"

The sign read the following:

_DO NOT ATTACK THE PRIMIDS. THEY ARE DESIGNED TO FOLLOW ORDERS TO MAKE YOUR TIME HERE EASIER._

"I'll-a put this-a sign where people can-a see it better," announced Luigi, and began doing so. Mario on the other hand, munching on his sausage roll, walked up to the large front door and knocked on it.

"Who is it?" asked a voice from the other side.

"It's-a me, Mario!" cried Mario.

"And-a Luigi!" chipped in Luigi from the background. The door opened and revealed Master Hand.

"Ah, it's good to see you here so early," said the glove warmly, "Now, Crazy Hand and I still have a lot of paperwork to fill out, with all the newcomers and whatnot, so just help yourself to the Snack Bar and wait for the others to arrive,"

Suddenly, a loud crash echoed through the hall, and so did an all-to-familiar "Oops…"

"Sorry, gentlemen," Master Hand said, "But Crazy Hand's on his own, I'd better go and check on him." He whizzed off and the sound of muffled shouts drifted out from the mansion. The Mario Bros. thought it wise not to intervene, and stepped back, and sat down at one of the tables.

Mario decided to take a quick nap, and Luigi, with nothing better to do, took his MP3 Player out of his pocket and began rocking out to the cheery tune of Super Mario Bros. 3, waiting for the others to arrive.

** Done! More veterans next chapter, and reviews are always appreciated. Toodlepip. **


	5. Chapter 5: Veterans

**Welcome to the longest chapter so far! Here are the veterans Master Hand invited. **

A few minutes had passed, and Mario had dropped off, and was snoring gently, Luigi was still headbanging to his MP3 Player. Suddenly, Mario was awoken from his nap by a sweet, familiar voice.

"Mario?" it said, "Oh it _is _you Mario! I knew you'd be here!"

"Peach?" he asked, send was overjoyed to find it was indeed the princess of the Mushroom Kingdom, "It's-a good to see you!"

The two ran at each other and hugged, made slightly awkward due to their height difference. "I'm-a so glad you could-a make it!" smiled Mario.

"Me too. Is anyone else here yet?" asked Peach, looking around the garden.

"It's-a just me and Luigi," replied Mario, gesturing at his brother, who waved at the princess, and continued dancing to a tune only he could hear. The plumber and the princess sat down and began to chat. Peach soon noticed a stethoscope hanging out of one of Mario's bags.

"Is Doctor Mario joining us again this time?" she asked, nodding at the suitcase.

"Yes, but I do not-a want him to be-a such a big deal," admitted Mario, "It's-a only me in a costume,"

"I see," mused Peach, "Who else do you think will be joining us?"

As if in answer, a terrific roar cracked through the air, and a huge scaly, spike-shelled reptile stomped into the garden.

"Ah, Mario," Bowser growled, narrowing his blood-red eyes, "We meet again,"

Peach clasped her hands to her chest, and Mario narrowed his eyes as well, and leapt off the seat, in a fighting stance.

"Cool your jets," snarled the beast, "You know the rules, 'no fighting outside if brawls'. You're safe here, well until we meet in the arena," he growled, cracking his knuckles, each the size of Mario's head, and stomped off towards the snack bar, barging past a whimpering Luigi, and tucked into a huge leg of lamb, occasionally glaring at his nemesis.

"He's so rude!" said Peach, "But he's right, you know. Put off you epic battle until we enter the tournament, ok?" She placed a gloved hand on Mario's shoulder. He turned to her and nodded, but not before returning a death glare at Bowser.

•••

A few minutes had passed when another veteran arrived.

"Mario?" asked the veteran, "_It _that really you?"

A small green dinosaur dropped his bags and embraced the plumber in a brotherly hug.

"Yoshi, it's-a good to see you," smiled Mario, "I was hoping you would-a show u-"

"Ooh, food!" Yoshi butted in, "Sorry Mario, Yoshi needs to eat!" He dashed over to the snack bar and began piling mountain of food on his plate.

"Classic Yoshi!" giggled Peach, watching the dinosaur devour his food with his long sticky tongue.

•••

A few minutes later, and Yoshi's plate was almost bare, Bowser had begun frying passing butterflies with his fire breath, Mario and Peach were still chatting and Luigi was still tirelessly dancing.

Yoshi stretched and patted his stomach, and decided to take a leaf out of Mario's book and have a nap, but his snoozed was soon interrupted by the _clip-clop _of hooves. He opened one eye and watched a young man in a green tunic and hat, get down of a brown-and-white horse. He tied the horses reigns to the gate, patted its side, and walked into the garden, leaving his steed to graze on the grass.

"Hi Link," he yawned, waving at the hero. Link returned the wave, but didn't say anything.

"Still not talkative then?" asked the dinosaur, and Link shook his head. He worked on the premise 'If nothing needed to be said, don't say it. If something needed to be said, try to get away without saying it'. Link did occasionally break that when talking to close friends, but he generally stayed mute.

The green-clad hero walked over to an unoccupied table and sat down, and busied himself by sharpening his Master Sword.

•••

The silence was broken a few minutes later when Peach looked up at the sky, and shrieked, causing all heads to turn, except Luigi who couldn't hear a thing over his music.

"What is that?" she asked, pointing to an object in the sky. It was fairly small and was speeding towards then, belching out smoke and flames like a makeshift missile.

"It's heading right for us!" screeched Bower, "Take cover!"

He slid under a table and withdrew into his shell. Yoshi followed suit and hid under a chair. Link flipped a table and Mario, Peach and himself ducked behind it, and Luigi was dragged in too. There was a loud crash as the object hit the garden, and pieces if charred wood was sent flying everywhere. Link, Mario, Peach and Luigi peeked over the table and watched as two singed primates climbed out of the wreckage.

"Sorry, everyone," said the larger one; a gorilla, with all the grace and sophistication of a Neanderthal, "Is hard to fly rocket barrel for long way,"

The smaller of the two, a little monkey in a red top and hat, chattered in agreement.

"Eh," said Bowser, popping his head out of his shell, "It's only the Kongs. No need for alarm."

He crawled out from beneath his cover and brushed a burnt bit of barrel off his scaly shoulder. Donkey Kong reached into the remains of the rocket barrel and produced a blackened suicase. He opened it, revealing many bunches if bananas. "Want banana?" he asked. Everyone politely declined.

"Yes pwease poyo!" came a sudden voice form behind the ape, and everyone turned to see Kirby hop off his Warpstar and run towards the primate, where he received several bunches of bananas. He ran over to Yoshi and began to eat them. The two were good friends, Kirby and Yoshi, mainly due to their insatiable appetites.

•••

Smashers began to arrive far more frequently from then on. Captain Falcon and Sonic arrived, racing in the Blue Falcon and on foot respectively, but were beaten by Wario on his Wario Bike at the last second, who proceeded to mock them, but his motorbike was soon squashed beneath a crash-landing rocket belonging to Olimar. Wario proceeded to yell up at the rocket, but was silenced when a purple Pikmin fell on his head.

Fox and Falco arrived, and began to argue about who was the better flyer, but were silenced when Samus pulled if a triple corkscrew flip in her gunship.

Pikachu and Jigglypuff arrived on the back of a ticked-off Charizard who kicked them off when they arrived, but had not yet landed.

Link was surprised when Zelda appeared, and felt very awkward when Toon Link interrupted a lingering hug.

Ness arrived through a portal covered in soot, and Ganondorf arrived from a different portal and mocked him, but was treated to a PK Thunder to the face.

Ike and Marth arrived using warp magic and began to practise their swordplay… on some watermelons with Kirby was trying to eat.

Pit swooped in and collided with Mr Game-and-Watch, who was parachuting in on his little 2D parachute, and they both fell to the ground.

R.O.B flew in on his Robo Burners but ran out of fuel mid-flight and landed in a large cake.

And Meta Knight and Lucario arrived so stealthy nobody noticed until they were halfway through their second plate of food.

**All the veterans have arrived, well, almost. Toodlepip**


	6. Chapter 6: The Opening Speech

**From now on, expect one or two updates every weekend, and maybe one smaller one during the week. Here we go!**

Crazy Hand was watching. Through the large, circular window in the Hands' room at the top of the Mansion, he watched the veterans arrive and meet up with old friends.

"Well..?" asked a familiar voice from behind him. It was Master Hand. He'd just returned from the bathroom.

"Well, what?" asked Crazy Hand, looking him up and down.

"How do I look?" asked Master Hand.

"The same as you always do!" sniggered Crazy Hand. Master Hand sighed.

"Have all the veterans arrived yet?" he asked.

"I think so," said Crazy Hand, looking out of the window in time to see R.O.B. fall into a large cake, and chuckled.

"Good," replied Master Hand, "We can invite them in to see the newcomers,"

_And they'll meet more than you'll think _thought Crazy Hand, following his brother down the stairs.

•••

Master Hand looked around backstage at the group of newcomers he'd invited. They, on the whole, looked a little nervous, but generally excited. He mentally counted them and seemed satisfied, and began the announcement. "Hello, newcomers!" he said, all eyes turning to him, "I, as you know, am Master Hand. While you are here, I will act in some ways as your boss, and in some ways as a guide. That over there is my brother, Crazy Hand," he jutted his thumb as the left hand, who gave an excited wave, "And he is second in command, which I know I'll end up regretting. During the introduction speech, I will call you up on stage individually, make a short speech on you and your moveset, whilst clips of your attacks will be shown on the screen behind us. After I've announced you, you may take a seat with the veterans, is everything clear?"

There was a chorus of 'Yes, Master Hand' and he turned to Crazy Hand.

"I think it's time to call in the veterans now, Crazy," he said.

"Aye aye," he replied, and hovered to the door. He swung it open and looked at the gathering of Smashers.

"Oi, you lot!" he shouted above the noise, "Get in 'ere!"

Cheers of "Finally!" and "Yay!" filled the air, as the veterans filed in, ushered to the hall by a group of Primids. They all took a seat, grouped together with their friends, and the hall filled with excited chatter.

•••

Master Hand was backstage, watching the veterans enter and sit with their friends from behind the curtain. "Showtime," he announced.

The glove floated out on the large stage, Crazy Hand flew in and joined the audience. "Hello Smashers!" he bellowed in his announcer-voice. Cheers arose from the crowd.

"Congratulations on making another tournament! For some of you, this is your fourth, for others, only your second, and for those backstage, only your first. Now, before we start I'd just like to-"

Master Hand was interrupted as the doors swung open and King Dedede stumbled in. He picked himself up and bent over double, panting and dripping in sweat. "Sorry, *pant* everyone, I *huff* over-*wheeze*-overslept,"

"How can you over sleep, it's eight in the evening?" called Ganondorf from the back of the hall.

"I sleep late ok?" he shouted back, "And fir some reason Bandanna Dee wasn't around to wake me!" And with that, he puffed his way over to the villains and sat down heavily.

"And now everybody's here, I'd like to start by recapping all the veterans that have made it back, so if you were preoccupied or," he glanced at Dedede, "_Late, _then this is a chance to refresh your memory:

(Doctor) Mario

Luigi

Peach

Bowser

Yoshi

Donkey Kong

Diddy Kong

Wario

Link

Zelda

Sheik

Ganondorf

Toon Link

(Zero Suit) Samus

Fox

Falco

Kirby

Meta Knight

King Dedede

Pikachu

Jigglypuff

Charizard

Lucario

Captain Falcon

Olimar

Pit

Ness

Sonic

Ike

Marth

R.O.B.

and Mr Game-and-Watch! Now, as this is a new start, we've got new stages!"

An 'ooh' arose from the crowd.

"New items!"

An 'aah' arose from the crowd.

"And, I'm sure this is what you've all been waiting for, new Smashers!"

A 'Yay!" arose from the crowd.

"So, without further ado, please welcome your first newcomer!"


	7. Chapter 7: Master Hand's Newcomers

**Hi! I'm back, and I've just had my birthday! Whoo! *throws confetti around* I'm officially 14! Also, just to let you know, I'll be using the newcomers as they were introduced in their trailers, so that means the red-clad boy Villager, the female Wii Fit Trainer and the male Robin, the only exception being Bowser Jr. with, well, you'll see. Now, here we go, the final chapter before I reveal Crazy's Pick!**

"It's… VILLAGER!"

A small boy walked onto the stage. He had a large head, brown hair, large eyes, a seemingly perpetual smile and a nose which looked like it was made out of a red-orange paper triangle. He simply wore a red top with a blue '1' on it, grey shirts, green socks and blue shoes. He happily waved to the crowd, some members hesitantly waved back.

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is Villager, from the Animal Crossing series," announced Master Hand, "He fights in a style similar to Mr. Game-and-Watch - " The 2-dimensional man gave a 'BEEP!' in recognition, " - and by that I mean, he uses miscellaneous items from his series for his standard, smash, and in some cases, special attacks, like boxing gloves, sticks, an axe, and other such items. His neutral special is 'Pocket', a move where he can catch other players projectile and then throw them right back, like a delayed reflector. His side special 'Lloid Rocket', involves him firing the Gyroid Lloid forwards, and can choose to ride on him to increase damage and aid horizontal recovery. To aid vertical recovery however, his up special, 'Balloon Fighter', equips him with a helmet with attached balloons, so he can freely fly around the stage for a while, until the fun out if air if are popped by another Smasher. His final special move, the down special, is 'Timber', where he plants, waters, and then chops down a tree. Shale this is damaging, it takes a while to perform. Now, his most powerful move is his Final Smash, known as 'Dream Home' or 'Housewarming Party', where any opponent in range will find them selves stuck as the Nook family, a family of raccoons from Villager's home town, build a house around them. After it is complete, it explodes and you are sent flying! So, for the final time, please welcome VILLAGER!"

The boy walked down of the stage and chose to sit near Toon Link and Ness, the only children he could find.

"Hi," greeted Ness, holding out a hand. Villager took it warmly and shook it.

"Excited?" asked Ness.

Villager just gave a slight nod.

"Do you talk?" asked Ness.

Villager shook his head.

"Oh," said Ness, "Another silent type…"

"Now introducing our second Newcomer, Wii FIT TRAINER!" said Master Hand. Onto the stage jogged a woman, wearing a blue top and grey-black tracksuit bottoms. Her skin was completely white, her hair was a colourless grey, which made it look like she was made out if plastic. The crowd of veterans all muttered confused phrases.

"This is the Wii Fit Trainer, or WFT for short. She attacks using kicks and yoga poses for her standard and smash attacks. Her special attacks include many sport and yoga themes to, such as 'Sun Salutation', a chargeable projectile of yellow balls if light which…"

_This is all well and good, _thought Crazy Hand, _But I'm sure there was something I was supposed to do too… Now what was it?... Oh, of course, my newcomers must have arrived!_

The left handed glove checked to see if al, eyes were on the Wii Fit Trainer, and surreptitiously snuck out if the door. After he was out if sight, he zoomed down the corridors to the left wing of the mansion.

•••

Just before entering the room designated to his newcomers, he checked a nearby clock. "8:15," he said, slightly out if breath, "I've got time,"

He opened the door to the small room, filled with newcomers, and a few veterans, of Crazy's pick. Who were they? Now, that would be telling…

"Hello everybody!" he announced, and all heads turned to face him, "Yes, hello, now you may have noticed something's a little bit unusual,"

"Yeah," said one of the small crowd, "Where's Master Hand and the other veterans?"

"Well," said Crazy, "I kinda invited you here without Master Hand's consent…"

"You did what?"

"Hey, it's not my fault! Master Hand didn't let me choose any of the newcomers,"

"That explains all the obscure and 3rd party characters here then,"

"Precisely! Now, I've realised I heavenly got footage of your attacks, so we need to film them. I say we go to the Brawl Hall, where the fights take place, teleport you to Final Destination or Battlefield or somewhere and record you. C'mon!"

He left, and the Smashers hesitantly followed.

•••

Crazy Hand surreptitiously snuck back into the hall, and Master hand was nearly at the end if the newcomer presentation.

"-So there we are, Dog and Duck, the duo known as DUCK HUNT!" Master Hand announced, and the two animals left the stage.

"Now its time for our final newcomer! It's a villain one of our returning villains know very well!"

"This should be good…" chuckled Bowser, leaning back on his seat and taking a long swig of his drink.

"It's…. BOWSER JR.!"

Bowser's eyes widened and he spat out his drink over Ganondorf, who growled at him as the young prince flew in on his little Junior Clown Car. Bowser paid no attention to the King of Evil, his eyes tearing up with pride.

"This tiny terror fights in his Junior Clown Car," continued Master Hand, "which is packed with weapons like boxing gloves, drills, claws, buzzsaws and wrecking balls, all of which he uses for standard attacks. His neutral special, 'Clown Cannon', is a chargeable projectile of solid metal fired from a cannon hidden in the Junior Clown Car's mouth. His side special, 'Clown Kart Dash', involves the vehicle sprouting wheels and exhausts and driving about, an attack similar to Wario's 'Wario Bike'. To aid recovery, his up special, 'Abandon Ship!', involves him ejecting output if his vehicle, which explodes when it falls, launching him upwards, and he fains another after landing. His final special attack, his down special 'Mechakoopa', summons a Mechakoopa which charges forward and explodes. Gis Final Smash, 'Shadow Mario' turns him into Mario's doppelganger, Shadow Mario, and he paints an 'X' on the screen with his Magic Paintbrush, and any fighter caught in it is heavily damaged."

"I'm so proud of him…" whispered Bowser, almost in tears.

"And that's not all!" continued Master Hand, "You all have alternate costumes or skins, don't you? They're usually done through changing clothes or computer wizardry, right?" Well Bowser Jr. over here swaps out with a variety of other characters… THE KOOPALINGS!"

Onto the stage flew Larry, Roy, Wendy, Iggy, Morton, Lemmy and Ludwig, all in differently coloured Junior Clown Car's.

"These six trouble makers can replace Bowser Jr., and are somewhere between different skins for the prince and characters in their own right, so they'll be staying with us!"

And with that, all seven children flew down towards Bowser, Bowser Jr. even receiving a hug from the Koopa King himself. The Koopalings looked up at him hopefully.

"Can we have a pay rise, boss?" asked Roy.

"Nope,"

"Well, then," Master Hand concluded, "That's all of the newcomers, somlet's get cracking with-"

"Not so fast!" announced Crazy Hand, joining his brother in stage, "I didn't get to vote for these, so I've invited my own newcomers to the party!


	8. Chapter 8: Crazy Hand's Newcomers

**Ok, sorry for the long wait, but this is a LONG chapter. Sorry if it feels a bit repetitive, but I don't want to write a fic where they just go: 'Here's _,_,_,_,_ and _,' so I have explained their movesets too. Also, I don't know who I'm more afraid of; those angry reviewers yelling 'WHY ON EARTH DID YOU INVITE _?!" or those going 'WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE _?!"...**

"Crazy Hand?!" asked Master Hand in rage, "What is the meaning of this?"

"Well," began Crazy Hand, "You didn't let me vote of the newcomers if this tournament, so I took things into my own hand. Pun intended,"

"Well, I forbid it! Tell them to go back to wherever they came from!"

"Pure drama!" chuckled Kind Dedede, stuffing some popcorn in his beak, "This is better than every soap-opera ever!"

"Anyway," said Crazy Hand, a hint of menace in his voice, "If you don't let them stay, I might just have to show everyone here the PHOTOGRAPH!"

"No!" cried Master Hand, "Not the PHOTOGRAPH! You wouldn't dare! Anyway, last time you wanted to invite your own newcomers, you wanted to invite SpongeBob Squarepants!"

"Hey, I've grown up more now, and I've thought out their movesets and everything. Oh, and the PHOTOGRAPH is still here…"

"Grr, fine!" replied Master Hand, "Fine fine fine fine fine fine fine! Have your own newcomers!"

"Ooh, goody!" squealed Crazy Hand in delight, before switching to his announcer-voice, "Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to introduce you to my newcomers! But first, I also invited back a couple of cut veterans, so, please welcome back THE ICE CLIMBERS and WOLF!"

Onto the stage at the sound of their names, arrived two children dressed in parkas and wielding small wooden mallets, and a space-age anthropomorphic wolf.

"These two, err, three, veterans I just liked too much to not re-invite, so they're back!" announced Crazy Hand. The trio walked of the stage. Nana and Popo joined Toon Link, Ness and the newcomer Villager, whilst Wolf slunk off to join the villains at the back of the room, passing Fox and Falco on the way.

D"Oh, Wolf," said Fox, "I thought we'd seen the last of you!"

"You're not safe yet, McCloud," sneered Wolf, sitting down next to Bowser, putting his feet up on the table.

"And now for my first newcomer! He's a lil' fella one if the villains in the room has a close connection with…" started Crazy Hand.

"This'll be good," mattered King Dedede, taking a long swig of his drink.

"It's…. BANDANNA DEE!"

King Dedede spat his drink all over Ganondorf.

"Right!" shouted the King of Evil, "I'm moving!" He picked up his drink and sat down out of spitting-range.

Onto the stage walked a Waddle Dee, wearing a blue bandanna on his head and holding a spear. He cheerily waved at the crowd.

"Poyo!" shouted Kirby, waving back to his friend.

"This little dude," began Crazy Hand, "Attacks with quick strikes of that there spear of his. His neutral special is 'Multi-Spear Thrust', a move where he jabs his spear in front of him many times, trapping anyone near in a barrage of pokes. He can also move around while using this attack, but at a slower pace. It only last about five seconds though, but it is a good way to rack up damage. His side special is 'Spear Toss', where he throws his spear. This is useful for horizontal recovery because it can be used multiple times per jump, boosting him forward each time it is used. It can also be charged to fire three powered-up spears. To gain horizontal recovery he, like most of you, uses his up special. 'Waddle Copter' involves him spinning his spear above his head like a helicopter, enabling him to freely fly for a short while, and any opponent hit by the spinning spear is slightly damaged. His final special, his down special, is 'Moon Drop', an attack similar to Bower's 'Bowser Bomb' and Yoshi's 'Yoshi Bomb', where he fall out if the air and plunges his spear into the ground, dropping out of the sky, but he spins, trapping those caught until he whacks the floor. His Final Smash is 'Spear Barrage', where he hurls out a huge flurry if powerful spears which fall in a curve. Any trapped opponents will receive huge amounts of damage and will be sent flying! So, for the final time, BANDANNA DEE!"

The little creature joined Kirby on the floor, and the two sat next to each other as the show continued.

"Next we have a villain!" announced Crazy Hand, earning a cheer from the bad guys, "It's the arch-rival of Donkey Kong, it's KING K. ROOL!"

Onto the stage stomped a large fat anthropomorphic crocodile. Whilst appearing obese, he had huge muscles in his arms and look liked he could lift, and quite possibly weigh, a ton. He wore a golden crown, golden bracelets and a red cape. His right eye was bloodshot and staring.

"This crackpot Kremling is another huge heavy-hitter, with a fighting style somewhere between Bowser and Donkey Kong," continued Crazy Hand, "His standard attacks are powerful blows with those fist of his, but they hit slowly. His neutral special is 'Blunderbuss', a chargeable projectile attack similar to Bower Jr.'s 'Clown Cannon', but the bullet is smaller and faster, and is shot from a Blunderbuss, not a cannon. His side special, 'Heavy Smash' is analogous to Donkey Kong's 'Headbutt', but K. Rool smashes opponents into the ground with his fists. This move is stronger than Donkey's and keeps opponents buried for longer, but takes longer to perform. Now, King K. Rool is very heavy, so recovery can be a problem, but his up special, 'Helicopter Pack' help this. This attack has K. Rool equip a small helicopter pack and fly upwards, similar to Snake's 'Cypher' from Brawl. His down special is 'Kremling Krush', a move very similar to 'Bowser Bomb', but leaves opponents buried at the cost of a longer start-up. His Final Smash is 'KAOS', where he jumps into the background out of harms ways and summons his robot puppet KAOS from Donkey Kong Country 3, who he then controls to fly around the stage, firing lasers and attacking with boxing gloves. So, please welcome, KING K. ROOL!"

The oversized reptile stomped off to the villains and sat down next to Bowser, a chair originally owned by Ganondorf, but he had previously relocated.

"Now, the third newcomer is another villain," began Crazy Hand, "And has been wanted in this series for forever, but is largely considered 'too big'. I think you all know who I'm talking about! It's RIDLEY!"

Onto the platform stomped a beast of primordial decent. He resembled a huge pterodactyl, but was very skinny, almost verging on skeletal if it weren't for his scaly blue skin, clinging to his frame tighter than Samus' Zero Suit. His mouth was a pointed beak-like structure, filled with pointed teeth and a long, writhing tongue. His wings were huge and had glowing orange membranes, his tail and talons looked uncomfortably sharp.

"Now, don't worry everyone, I've shrunk him," chuckled Crazy Hand. Indeed, the reptile was only slightly bigger than Charizard, "Ridley attacks with his lethal claws, talons and tail for his standard attacks, but he has a wider arsenal of special attacks. His neutral special is 'Plasma Ball', chargeable projectile of fire, similar to Samus' 'Charge Shot'. His side special is 'Wing Strike', were he swoops forward, slashing his foes with his razor-sharp wings. His up special is similar, 'Ridley Loop', a move similar to Meta Knight's 'Shuttle Loop', but swoops in one loop and can't glide for very long. As another heavy-hitter, his down special is another 'crushing' attack. 'Ridley Drop' is a powerful move that crushes opponents beneath him. His Final Smash is 'Meta Ridley', where he upgrades to his cybernetic form and charges across the screen three times; once at the top, then middle, then bottom. Any opponent hit by the speeding pterosaur will receive large amounts of damage and knockback. So, here he is at last RIDLEY!"

The space pterodactyl gave a shriek and swooped down and sat next to the villains.

"Now it's time for a cuter smaller newcomer," said Crazy Hand, "Here's…. STARFY!"

Onto the stage walked a little yellow star-like creature, with a cute little face and a cheery smile.

"Hold up!" shouted Master Hand, "Starfy here is already an Assist Trophy. He can't be a fighter too!"

"Well, I promoted him," replied Crazy Hand.

"Great, so now we've got one less Assist Trophy," muttered Master Hand.

"Actually," said Crazy Hand matter-of-factly, "I invited his clam friend Moe to replace him. He spins around like Starfy, but does more damage. Anyway, back to Starfy's moveset. Starfy attacks with standard punches and a few kicks for basic confrontation, and has a wide variety of special attacks. His neutral special is 'Star Spin', an attack where he spins around rapidly, damaging opponents over and over. Unlike his attack as an Assist Trophy, this can be charged to three separate stages, each more powerful than the last by a significant margin. His side special is 'Shooting Star', where he bursts forwards in flames like a comet, damaging those he touches. To get back on stage, Starfy uses his up special, 'Balloon', where he gains a hot air balloon on his back and rises into the air for a while, before it pops and he is sent falling. His down special, 'Dizzy', is similar to Jigglypuff's 'Rest', but covers a larger area. After activating it, Starfy become dizzy, and any opponents close get dizzy too, so when he snaps out of it he can whack 'em, but it does leave him vulnerable if he misses. His Final Smash is 'The Power of Friends'. This attack originates from game 'The Legend of Starfy', where the Pufftop Prince is power-up by his pals' friendship and becomes so powerful he pushes the actual moon into the final boss. When he initiates the attack, he flies off screen and soon returns crashing down, pushing the moon with him, crushing anyone below him, like a super-powerful Warp Star item. So, welcome to the mansion, STARFY!"

The happy-go-lucky star walked off the stage and sat down next to Rosalina, and began to play with her Lumas, the princess giving an echoing giggles she watched the star-like creature play.

"Next we have a star of the Nintendo eShop," continued Crazy Hand, "He a little round hero who saves children, and the occasions bird, from puzzles. From the games Pullbox and Fallblox/Pushmo and Crashmo, its MALLO!"

Onto the stage walked a… thing. He was almost completely round and a bright red, with a little white puffy face. He had three little outgrowths on his head, two of which seemed to be little floppy ears, the other was just apparently a topknot. He wore two yellow mittens and a blue loincloth like that of a tiny sumo wrestler.

"Despite Mallo here only being a puzzle solver, he can pack quite a punch, especially from someone so small," began Crazy Hand, looking at the pudgy hero. "Despite his size, Mallo's standard attacks are fairly powerful, and his throws are above average. His neutral special is 'Sumo Stomp'. Every time he begins a level in his games, he raises a foot and stomps the ground. If he hits you with his stomp, it won't do too much damage, but it can be charged into a burying, shockwave-creating attack. Due to his round shape, his side special, 'Mallo Roll', has him curl up in a ball and roll around, like Yoshi's 'Egg Roll'. His up special, 'Mallo Bounce', shares the same idea p, and he curls up in a ball, but this time he bounces up. He can bounce twice; once when he activates it, and the second time when he lands, boosting him even higher. New, for a little fella, Mallo's decently heavy, so being hey by his down special, 'Mallo Crush', can do so major damage. His Final Smash is 'Reset Button'. In his games, if Mallo thinks he's messed up a puzzle, he can jump on a triangular button to reset it. His Final Smash has him jump on this button, and a Fallblox/Crashmo puzzle will drop from the sky, topple over and wipe out those it falls on, though hiding under hard platforms can shield you, if you're caught unaware you'll be sent flying. So, welcome MALLO!"

Mallo wandered off the stage and sat down nowhere in particular.

"Next we have another eShop hero," announced Crazy Hand, "He's an armadillo starring in a real 'rolling western'. It's…. DILLON!"

Onto the stage walked a large primarily red anthropomorphic armadillo, wearing a cowboy hat, a blue bandanna round his neck, a belt, two cowboy boots and fingerless gloves, showing off his powerful, if slightly blunt, claws.

"Wait a sec!" butted in Master Hand, "Like Starfy, Dillon is an Assist Trophy already in this tournament. He can't be a fighter too"

"Well, I just promoted him, and replaced his role as an Assist Trophy with a Grock," replied Crazy Hand.

"A Grock?" asked Master Hand, "What's a Grock?"

"It's a rock monster thing from Dillon's games. Google it," answered Crazy Hand, "And the Assist Trophy Grock, when released, charges around left and right, smashing those it touches into high percentages. Anyway, Dillon's standard attacks are decently powerful blows with his claws, which are stronger than most people's fists. His neutral special is 'Roll Attack', where he curls up into a ball send smashes forward. Like Jigglypuff's 'Rollout', this move can be charged for more knockback, and does more damage when fully charged than the Pokémon's, but it takes longer to charge as well. His side special is 'Drift Attack', where he curls up into a ball again and slides like a lopsided wheel into opponents, acting like a faster, less powerful 'Roll Attack'. His up special is 'Heli-bike'. This move originates from his rodent friend Russ, who invented this helicopter-bike fusion to help keep a look out for Grocks and whatnot. Dillon inherits this contraption to help him rise into the air to aid recovery, but not for very long. His down special is 'Dig Attack'. When performing this attack, Dillon half-buries himself in the floor and speeds forward. If he meets anyone whilst in his short burst forwards, he pops up out of the ground and uppercuts them, but if he doesn't he just pops out again. His Final Smash is 'Arma Mode', where he enters a super powerful state know as, well, 'Arma Mode'. After activating it, he quickly rolls forward, glowing a bright yellow, about the length of the range of Link and Toon Link's 'Triforce Slash', and if he hits anyone, he furiously grinds into them with the spiky plates on his back, raising their percentages dramatically, and then sends them flying with an uppercut. So, rolling into battle, its DILLON!"

The armadillo curled into a ball and rolled off the stage, and chose a secluded spot to sit down.

"Now, the next newcomers are mainly third party, but all have appeared on a Nintendo console, heck some of them have only appeared on a Nintendo console, usually through the eShop… because I like the eShop, it's cool. Anyway, next up we've got a mining robot from the Wild West. So, from the Image&Form eShop game 'SteamWorld Dig', it's RUSTY!"

At the mention if his name, only the stage clanked a roughly humanoid robot. He was a rusty brown in colour, with a fairly good build. He wore a battered cowboy hat and boots and a red bandanna round his neck. He had a small exhaust pipe attached to the top of his back, puffing out smoke, and had a hatch on his chest. His arms were green and he held a package slung over his shoulder.

"Rusty here is a robot who inherited a mine from his late uncle, and his game is set around tunnelling down to the depths of the underground world," explained Crazy Hand, "Rusty has a unique ability to swap his standard attacks for different weapons in Smash. His down special is 'Upgrade', where he can swap out a weapon for another. His go-to weapon is his trusty pickaxe, which deals moderate damage at a decent range at an average speed. His second weapon is his drill, a short-range, low-damage attack but is incredibly fast and can rack up damage at a considerable pace. His final weapon of choice is his Steam Punch, a very powerful, albeit slow steam-powered punch. Whilst wielding this weapon, his forward smash is a long-range, high-damage blast of steam, but it is slow to perform. His other special attacks are more varied. His neutral special is 'Dynamite', where he pulls out a stick of explosives and hurls it, like Link and Toon Link's 'Bomb', but it does more damage, though doesn't explode on contact, so it us mire predictable. His side special is 'Speed Boots', where a dashed forwards a while, charging into anyone in his way, doing a bit of sudden damage. His up special is 'Steam Jump'. A recovery move similar to Diddy Kong's 'Rocketbarrel Boost', Rusty jumps high using the power of steam and it can be charged for him to jump higher. His Final Smash is 'Voltron', where he pilots the big, stationary, purple, one-eyed robot who is, ironically, Rusty's arch nemesis, and then fires lasers of purple electricity out at other players, doing large amounts of damage an knockback. So, here he is, RUSTY!"

The rusty steambot clanked off the stage and sat down in a vacant seat.

"Now, I think it's time we got some more female character, don't you?" asked Crazy Hand to the crowd, and the females gave a cheer of approval, "Well, I've got another two back here right now!" he said, and he would have been grinning if he could.

"First, we've got a Gameboy classic. She's a belly-dancing half-genie, defender of Scuttle Town and the rival of the lady pirate Risky Boots. It's…. SHANTAE!"

Onto the stage walked a young female human with tanned skin. She wore a red bedlam, a variety of golden jewellery and her long purple hair was tied up in a ponytail.

"This here is Shantae, a young half-genie from the WayForward 'Shantae' series. Her standard attacks are fast, athletic kicks and a few other moves like punches. Her neutral special is 'Hair Whip', where, with a flick over her neck, she cracks her ponytail like a whip. This is a fast, long range attack which can be used to pull off combos and rack up damage. Her side special is 'Monkey Bullet'. Using her magical genie powers, she transforms into a monkey and fires herself forward, like Pikachu's 'Skull Bash'. She transforms back into her human form when she stops the attack. Her up special is 'Harpy'. Another transformation attack, Shantae tranforms into a Harpy and flies upwards, damaging those she touches. Her down special is 'Elephant Stomp', where she transforms into an elephant a d stomps the ground in front of her and buries them briefly. Her Final Smash is 'Tinkerbat', where she transforms into those little black pirate enemies she often encounters. Like Wario's 'Wario Manl, she speed and power are dramatically increased. She attack with a powerful cutlass and zips around, smashing everyone she encounters, but it doesn't last long, so she's better make the most of it! So, my first female newcomer, it's SHANTAE!"

The half-genie ran off the stage and sat down next to the rest of the female Smashers, but still a few seats away.

"Next we have another WayForward female protagonist. She's a cyborg police officer and firefighter, the star of 'The Mighty Switch Force' 1 and 2, it's PATRICIA WAGON!"

Onto the stage walked a woman. She wore a tight blue jumpsuit, like Zero Suit Samus, but it didn't cover her arms or legs. She wore a white helmet with a siren on top, white space-age gauntlets and boots and held a futuristic-looking gun.

"Patricia here is a crime-fighting cyborg from Planet Land," explained Crazy Hand "As a fighter, she attack with kicks and punches for standard fighting, which deal average damage. Her neutral special is 'Pellet Gun', a projectile attack similar to Fox's 'Blaster', but has large bullets which deal more damage, but move and fire slower. Her side special is 'Rescue Kick'. This attack has an obscure background, but basically, in 'The Mighty Switch Force 2', she rescues babies by kicking them out of the way… Err… anyway, 'Rescue Kick' is a powerful kicking move which deals decent knockback. Her up special is 'Launch Block', where she fires herself upwards out of a purple block that she can use in her games to reach secret areas. She can also angle this slightly to aid recovery. Her down special is 'Switch Block'. This attack causes the siren on her helmet to flash ad a yellow block appears from the background, which blocks all attacks from the from, but leaves her immobile and vulnerable to attack from the back. Her Final Smash is 'Corporal Gendarmor'. Corporal Gendarmor is a large police robot that escorts Patricia out of levels by her climbing inside his chest and him blasting off. In this attack, she climbs inside and he continues the attack for a while, but he's far stronger, faster and generally more powerful than her, so anyone caught in his attacks better watch out for a pummelling. Here she is, PATRICIA WAGON!"

The policewoman sat down next to Shantae, the two knew each other, but not very well.

"Next, we've got a mysterious knight with an unorthodox fighting style. The titular character from a very popular Yacht Games game it's… SHOVEL KNIGHT!"

Onto the stage stomped a humanoid knight, entirely covered in medieval turquoise armour. His helmet had large horns and he appeared quite muscular. He carried a shovel.

"Shovel Knight is strange character to say the least," began Crazy Hand, "He uses his Shovel Blade for basic attacks, and other weapons for his special attacks. His neutral special is 'Dig', where he digs the ground in front of him, burying this caught. Thus upwards sweep also reflect projectiles. His side special is 'Propeller Sword', where he dashes forward, a sword spinning in front of him, repeatedly damaging foes. His up special is 'Shovel Drop'. Now, I know what you're thinking: 'How can a move called 'Shovel _Drop_' be a recovery move?' Well, his bounces on his shovel like a pogo stick, and can increase his recovery by bouncing on other Smashers. His down special is 'Fishing Rod', an attack useful for edge-guarding. He pulls out a fishing rid and drops its hook (it's more like an anchor) down. If used at an airborne opponent trying to recovery, it is an effective meteor smash. His Final Smash is 'War Horn', where he gets out a war horn and blows incredibly loudly in it, causing an huge area around him to be hit by a soundcard, knocking all opponents far away. So, here is SHOVEL KNIGHT!"

The medieval Smasher clanked off stage and sat alone in a corner.

"Next we have a Smasher in the same league as Megaman; a robotic young lad with a passion for shooting things. He's the silent protagonist if the NICALiS game 'Cave Story', it's… QUOTE!"

Onto the stage walked a boy, who looked strikingly similar to the Pokémon Trainer. He was, however, completely pale white, was a little shorter and had a slightly larger head. He wore a red-and-white cap similar to the Pokémon Trainer's, a black sleeveless shirt, orange baggy trousers and a long green scarf. Out from underneath his cap came a mess of brown-black hair. In his hand he held a small blue gun marked with a white star.

"Quote here is the hero of the game Cave Story, and is a scout robot with a wide arsenal of attacks," explained Crazy Hand LHis standard attacks are average punches and kicks, but his special attacks are where he stands out. His neutral special is 'Polar Star'. That gun he's holding now is the Polar Star, a basic weapon and his first in his adventure. His attack is also similar to Fox's 'Blaster', but fires as quickly as Quote can mash the trigger. His side special is 'Missile Launcher', a move similar to Snake's 'Remote Missile' from Brawl, but travels faster and does more damage, but it cannot be controlled. His down special is 'Air Tank Bubble', where he creates a bubble-like shield around himself, deflecting, not reflecting, projectiles. His up special is 'Booster', where he gains a jetpack and flies upwards. His Final Smash is 'Destroyer'. Quote, when using this attacks, gains a special gun and fires three times; the first shoot fires three very powerful lasers. The seconds fires three less powerful lasers, and the third fires three rubber ducks with Mr. Saturn-like damage. And, ladies and gentlemen, that is not all, because, like Bowser Jr., he has a different skin which swaps him out for another character, in this case, his friend CURKLY BRACE!"

A girl very similar to Quote walked on stage, with a small orange sleeveless shirt and baggy orange trousers. She also had lots of blond hair, but no cap.

"Like the Koopalings are to Bowser Jr., she is just a skin for Quote, but she'll be with us at the mansion. So, here we are, QUOTE and CURLY BRACE!"

The two robots walked off the stage and sat next to each other, Quote seemed rather nonchalant, but Curly was clearly very excited.

"So, we're a nearing the end of my list now," stated Crazy Hand, "Only three more, well, technically four but, well, you'll find out," he chuckled at the confused faces of the crowd. "First we have a cartoonish, limbless character from Ubisoft. It's… RAYMAN!"

Onto the stage walked a… well, a something. His body was round, purple and had a white ring on it and a hood, like a hoody. His hands were white gloves, his feet were orange trainers, which were not apparently connected to his body by any physical boundaries. His head was vaguely (very vaguely) human, with a small blonde Mohawk and a big cheesy grin, and floated above his body without a neck.

"This here is the fun-loving hero Rayman, a good guy to have a laugh with. Like a typical teenager, he enjoys sleeping, telling jokes and saving the world from destruction," explained Crazy Hand, "While he may be lacking in the limbs department, he can attack on par with you guys. In fact, his punches and kicks have further reach than most. His neutral special is 'Ray-Punch', a long range move where he charges up his fist and throws it at an opponent, before it returns. His side special is 'Speed Dash', a move where he dashes forward quickly, running over those in his way.. His up special is 'Helicopter Hair', where his hair spins around like a helicopter and he rises into the air, but it doesn't last very long. His down special is 'Rayman Smash', a ground pound move where he dive-bombs the ground with his fists. His Final Smash is 'Mosquito', where he calls out his trusty mesquite friend, Mosquito, and fly around him. Mosquito can fire little, but powerful, pellets bad suck in openers and fire them out. So, here he is, RAYMAN!"

Rayman merrily strode off the stage and cheerily plonked down next to Pac-Man, who could quite get his large yellow head around how he lacked limbs.

"Next we have a little guy with an explosive personality," continued Crazy Hand, "This Hudson Soft character is known for his unexplained bomb-making abilities. It's… BOMBERMAN!"

Onto the stage walked a humanoid being. It was mainly white, with a large head, out if which grew a little antenna with a pink bobble on the end. His hands were also pink spheres and he wore blue clothes and a belt. He also had pink feet.

"Whilst Megaman is known as the 'Blue Bomber', Bomberman here is known as the 'White Bomber'. Like most of you, Bomberman's standard attacks are merely punches and kicks, but he's got a wider variety of special attacks. His neutral special is 'Bomb'. Not the most imaginative name in the world, but it does what is says on the tin. Bomberman creates a bomb and then throws it, causing decent amounts of damage, though he can hurt himself with his explosions. He can also charge up his bombs into large, 'pumped up' bomb which do lots mire damge but can be thrown as far. His side special is 'Bomb Kick', where he takes out a bomb and immediately boots it way. It goes further than a bomb thrown in 'Bomb', but takes longer to explode. His up special is 'Rocket', where he straps a rocket to his back and blasts upwards, and it can be charged for more distance like Diddy Kondo's 'Rocketbarrel Boost'. Bomberman's down special is 'Shield', where he pulls out a shield, blocking attacks from the front, but leaving him vulnerable from the back. His Final Smash is 'Air Raid'. This attack is similar to what happens in Sudden Death when the characters don't attack in time; it rains bombs. However, Bomberman's bombs are larger and do more damage, and, unlike his other bomb attacks, the explosion don't hurt the White Bomber himself. So, exploding into battle, it's BOMBERMAN!"

The little creature hipped down off the stage and, after a second of thought, decided to take a seat next to Megaman.

"Finally, we have a duo with a fighting style comparable to Duck Hunt," explained Crazy Hand, "These two are old classics, made by Rare, in tandem with Nintendo for the most part. They are… BANJO and KAZOOIE!"

Onto the stage stomped a brown, friendly-looking anthropomorphic bear wearing blue dungarees and a blue backpack. In the backpack sat a red-orange unimpressed bird.

"These two are-" began Crazy Hand

"Yes, yes, yes, get on with it, will ya?" interrupted the bird, looking impatient.

"Ok, calm down Miss Sassy-Pants!" retaliated Crazy Hand, "I'll just quickly explain your movement and we'll be done ok? Well, in this fighting duo, Banjo, the bear, does most if the standard attacks, punches and claw slashes, and Kazooie, the bird, does most of the special attacks. Their neutral special is 'Egg Toss', where Kazooiw tosses an egg, and it can be charged to fire faster, mire powerful eggs. Their side special is 'Roll Attack'; the two roll forwards in the air, defying physics in the process, barrelling into those into their way. Their up special is 'Kazooie Flight', where Kazooie briefly takes flight, pulling Banjo up behind her. Their down special is 'Kazooie Dive', where they dive-bomb the ground, Kazooie's beak causing major damage. Their Final Smash is 'Wondewing'; the duo become invincible and powered/sped up, causing huge damage to those that they touch. So, my final newcomers, BANJO and KAZOOIE!"

The two rushed off stage and nabbed the first seat they could.

"Is that all of your newcomers?" asked Master Hand.

"Yes," replied Crazy Hand contentedly.


	9. Chapter 9: Mingling part 1

**Sorry there were no updates last week! I have just got SSB4 and I can't stop playing. And to the first 50-75 of you who read the last chapter within the first ten minutes of irpt being posted, I have updated it to include the Crazy Hand-picked newcomer Shovel Knight and I changed Rayman's Final Smash. Also, this next chapter will be spilt up into two or three parts. Enjoy!**

"Right," announced Master Hand, "I would usually announce the rules and your roommates now, but due to Crazy Hand here, we've overrun and so you'll have your welcoming dinner now and everything else after that, ok?"

The Smashers nodded in agreement; they were all famished.

"Actually," he said, glancing at a clock, "I think we've just got time to do this… Zelda, would you please come up here?"

The Hylian Princess stood up and strode regally onto the stage.

"I trust you know why you are up here?" inquired Master Hand. She nodded. "Good, well," he turned to the crowd once more, "As you may, or may not, be aware, in this new tournament, switching character mid-fight is no longer possible, hence why we've unfortunately had to let the Pokémon Trainer go. While Samus can now, with a tweak or two from me, activate an auto-pilot on her Power Suit, lest a match turns out to be Samus vs Zero Suit Samus, Zelda, and her doppelganger Sheik, do not have this luxury, so, this is what we'll do…"

On cue, Zelda closed her eyes and muttered a few magic words and was instantly shrouded in a white light, as if transforming into Sheik, but Master Hand began to flex his fingers, and, despite merely being a glove, seemed to be concentrating very hard. Then, slowly, ever so slowly, the white light covering Zelda began to split in two. The other Smashers began to watch in awe as the glow become two figures. The light cleared and there stood two figures: Zelda and Sheik. No-one could quite believe it. Not even themselves, it seemed.

"Well, now that's sorted, you guys can eat!" announced Master Hand, seemingly tired from the ordeal, "Crazy, if you wouldn't mind," he said, gesturing towords his brother.

"Move out if the way of the centre and sides of the room!" he warned, and the sound of scraping chairs filled the hall. If Crazy Hand could have grinned, he would have done, as he gleefully pushed a large red button that had appeared from the wall. Suddenly, a large, wooden banqueting table rose up in the centre of the room, and at the sides, two large tables laden with food, slid from the walls.

"Dig in!" announced Master Hand, and the ravenous Smashers all grabbed a plate and piled it with food, before figuring out where to sit.

•••

It is often said that in the Smash Mansion, those you sit with during the welcoming dinner will become those you spend most of your time with. This is, by and large, correct, so this dinner is an important part of their time here. At the end of the table, the villains were having a discussion.

"So, Wolf," said Bowser, biting a large chunk of meat out of a larger chunk of meat, "You're back. I thought we'd lost ya,"

"Well, you don't get rid of me that easy," smirked the lupine, chewing on some steak, "Thank's to Crazy Hand,"

"And we got some new villains," replied Bowser, "Most, of which, may I say, are my minions,"

"Are you ever going to stop gloating about that?" asked Ganondorf, who had merely opted to eat some meat stew, as the cooking in Hyrule was still fairly simple.

"Nope," replied Bowser smugly, ferociously attacking a large cured ham.

"Don't hog all the meat," sniffed King K. Rool, sitting down opposite Bowser, a plate equally piled high with meat, "There are other carnivores here to, y'know,"

"Oh, if it isn't the king of crocodiles himself," sneered Bowser.

"Well, it's a step up from being the king turtles and mushrooms!" snapped back K. Rool.

"Wait a minute," said Wario, popping an entire bulb of garlic in his mouth, "You two know-a each other?"

"We met at a baseball tournament a while back," replied Bowser, not taking his eyes of the portly reptile.

"And you don't-a get on too well, I see-a?"

"Rival kings generally don't," growled King K. Rool, staring back at the Koopa with his bloodshot eyes.

Suddenly, a terrible, primordial shriek filled the air, and all eyes turned to see Ridley roaring at Samus, who had seized the last chicken wing.

"Oi, Ridley!" shouted Bowser, "Leave the huntress, come join us!"

The space pterodactyl swooped over to the group of ne'er-do-wells, but not before death-glaring Samus. The bounty huntress sat down next to Zelda, wiping pterosaur spit of her Power Suit's visor, and removed the helmet to start eating.

"Ugh," remark Peach, staring at the helmet, dripping with saliva, "That beast is such an _animal_!"

"Don't be fooled by his primitive appearance," replied Samus, "He might seem like a mindless brute, but he's actually a cold, calculating brute with a deceptive intelligence,"

"Like Bowser, I suppose," mused Peach, "What do you think, Zelda?"

Zelda didn't reply; she was too busy talking to Sheik. Surprisingly, they found they had a lot in common.

Meanwhile, back at a the villains' section, Ridley dropped onto his seat and was attacking a pile of meat that put Bowser and King K. Rool to shame.

"So, you finally made it in then?" asked Wolf. Ridley glanced at him with one yellow eye and nodded.

"Ya look weird smaller," commented King Dedede, who had just arrived, a plate laden with food.

"Who said you could sit with us, goody-goody?" sneered Ganondorf at the portly penguin.

"Well, _that _escalated quickly!" replied King Dedede, "And what exactly do ya mean by 'goody-goody'?"

"Don't pretend you don't know what we're talking about," growled Bowser. King Dedede still looked clueless, and shrugged. Bowser face-palmed.

"You've been helping your arch-enemy Kirby in the past few games, heck, I can't even remember the last game you were actually evil!" explained Ganondorf.

"Hey, the dude's powerful, so I figured 'Let's join forces and become more powerful myself'," countered Dedede.

"Yeah yeah yeah, go sit with your goody-goody friends, goody-goody!" sneered Bowser.

"Fine, I will!" retaliated the beefy bird, "Maybe then I'll get some respect!"

The plump penguin waddled over to his fellow Dreamlanders and plonked down next to Meta Knight.

"Poyo!" greeted Kirby from over the table, waving at him with a stubby hand, peeking out from his mountainous meal.

"'Ello, ya little scamp," chuckled Dedede, reaching over the table and ruffling his head (and sneakily swiping a chicken drumstick from the puffball's plate in the process). Bandanna Dee, seated next to Kirby, squeaked and waved too.

"And you to, ya little rascal," grinned the monarch, "I'm happy you've got in, though don't think I've forgotten about you 'forgetting' to wake me up!"

The Waddle Dee gave a squeaky chuckle and speared a sausage on his spear and ate it like a kebab, absorbing it through his face.

"And last year's winner's back too!" gleefully exclaimed Dedede, "Good to see ya, Meta Knight! I hope ya've been nerfed, if ya know what I mean!"

"Be assured, Dedede, I will go easy on you this time around," replied the masked knight, sliding a forkful of omelette under his mask.

Kirby giggled, but stopped when he felt a tap on his leg. He turned around and looked down at the culprit. It was the red pudgy newcomer, Mallo.

"HIIIIIIIII!" greeted the puffball, waving.

Mallo smiled and waved back. He gestured to the empty seat next to Kirby.

"That seat no taken poyo!" explained the pink hero.

Mallo smiled again and pushed his rather modest plate of food onto the table, clambering onto the seat.

"You no talk poyo?" asked Kirby.

Mallo said nothing and shook his head.

"Oh," replied Kirby, and inhaled some food. He then turned back to the sumo wrestler-shaped creature and asked "What you do in games poyo?"

In reply, Mallo whipped a 3DS out from who-knows-where and started up a game called Pullblox, or Pushmo, depending on where you live. Kirby watched as the little Mallo on the screen pulled out some Tetris-style blocks from a wall and climb up the top and recuse a child. Kirby gasped in awe at how quickly the pudgy hero solved these mind-bending puzzles, and Mallo started to draw a crowd of Smashers watching him play.

"Ooh, I wonder what they're looking at over there!" mused Peach, watching from afar.

"Excuse me, princess," said an echoing voice from behind her. The pink princess whipped around and looked up at a tall woman in a light blue dress and a silver crown.

"Is this seat taken?" asked the tall woman, gesturing to the seat next to Peach with her wand.

"Oh no, Rosalina, this seat is vacant, sit down," replied the perky princess, patting the seat with her gloved hand.

"Thank you, princess," said Rosalina, gently sitting down and nibbling on a sausage.

"No problem," smiled Peach, "And please, just call me 'Peach'. All that 'princess' stuff isn't necessary here at the Smash Mansion. We're all equal,"

"So that's why I'm not being treated like a true goddess," said another voice behind them. The two whipped around and were faced with Palutena. "Not that I'm complaining," she hastily added, "In fact, I think I prefer it,"

She seated herself next to Rosalina.

"Where are your little Luma friends?" asked the green-haired goddess, turning to the space-traveller.

"Oh, they've found little friend to play with," explained Rosalina, gesturing further down the table, where Starfy and the Lumas were sharing a large bowl of Star Bits, all chatting and apparently having a laugh.

"Well, that means you won't have them following you around all the time," smiled Palutena.

"Indeed, though I still wish to keep an eye on them," replied Rosalina.

"Hmm, I know what you mean," said Palutena, "Despite him being more experienced here, I want to keep an eye on Pit. Does anyone know where he is?"

"He's over there, chatting with Link," replied Sheik, gesturing down the table.

"Well, chatting _for _Link," corrected Zelda.

Indeed, the angel did seem to be doing all the talking, but that was the way they both liked it.

"And then I was like 'Hey, floor ice cream gives you health!' and Palutena was like-" continued Pit, occasionally sipping from a glass of water, Link was propped up on one elbow, chewing some Peahat salad. The angel continued to recount his adventures, when two shadows fell over them. They looked up at the friendly figures of Ike and Marth.

"Hi Ike!" smiled Pit "And… err… konichi-wa, Marth-san… Is that good Japanese?"

Marth chuckled. "Do not worry," he said, with a thick Japanese accent, "I have learnt English,"

"Oh, good!" exclaimed Pit, "Now we don't have to ask Snake or Meta Knight to translate,"

"Who knew Meta Knight knew 21 different languages?" asked Ike, sitting down next to Link.

"Well, I suppose everyone's got to have a hobby," mused Pit, "Hey, aren't there, like, two more Fire Emblem characters?"

"Oh yeah," said Ike. He spotted them and called them over. Robin and Lucina arrived at their table, Lucina sat next to Marth, Robin next to Ike. Pit looked quizzically at the former two.

"Is it me, or are you two… are you related?" asked the angel.

"Lucina is my… descendant," replied Marth.

"So _that's _why you look so similar… anyway," he turned to Robin, "Weren't there gonna be two of you or something? Y'know, a male and female?"

"Indeed," replied Robin, "Master Hand tried to bring us both, but as we are the same person that exist in different timelines and exist at the same time, bringing us both here would cause a massive potentially universe-destroying paradox,"

"I understood those words," said Pit, "But not in the order they were put in…"

Robin sighed and proceeded to try to explain it to Pit, with little success.

**End of part 1**


	10. Chapter 10: Mingling pt 2

**I am super sorry for nit updating for so long, but the truth is, I'm getting kinda bored with this story already. I've just git so many ideas tattling around in my head that suddenly this doesn't seem very interesting... so it is now officially ON HIATUS! So, I may start it again if I want. Sorry! ;_;**

After many unsuccessful attempts to explain physics to Pit, Robin gave up and the angel got a headache and went to sit elsewhere. He chose to sit next to Shulk, curious about his strange red weapon.

"Um, hi," smiled Pit, "You're Shulk, right? And that thing on you back is the … I want to say 'avocado'?"

Shulk chuckled and said, in a British accent (**A/N: =D**), "Hah, no, it's the 'Monado',"

"Oh, right right, of course!" replied Pit, "The _Monado_. Gotta remember that!"

Shulk smiled and gestured towards Pit's weapon of choice, "You've good a pretty cool-looking weapon yourself," he said.

"This is 'Palutena's Bow," explained Pit, "It can separate into blades," he demonstrated this, "And can be switched back and used as a bow," he did this too.

"Hey, that's pretty cool," mused Shulk, "But what arrows does it fire?"

Pit grinned. "Arrows of light!" he said. Ne pulled back the string, which seemed to exist only when needed, and a sparkling blue arrow appeared.

"Pretty sweet, eh?" laughed the angel, but he accidentally let go, and the arrow flew off.

"Uh-oh," he said, watching the bolt of blue race across the room, towards the back of someone's head. In a flash, the head whipped round and a green boxing glove hit the arrow in an uppercut directing it into the wall. Pit and Shulk rushed up to Little Mac to see if he was ok.

"Wow!" exclaimed Pit, "That was spectacular! How'd you get such good reflexes?"

"Training," explained the boxer.

"Hey, what training resume do you use?" asked an interested Shulk, and Little Mac began to explain as the three walked back to the table, but Pit hung back when he heard a voice behind him.

"Nice shooting," it said, sarcastically. Pit whirled around and was confronted with his edgy clone, Dark Pit.

"Oh, hey Pittoo!" greeted the angel. The shady angel clenched his fists.

"How many times do I have to tell you?" asked Dark Pit, "The name 'Pittoo' is not something I ever want to hear!"

"Sorry, Pittoo," winced Pit. Dark Pit growled and walked off in a huff.

"At least I didn't call you 'Pitooey'!" Pit called after him, but was met with a cured ham to the face.

"Hey!" snapped Bowser as he looked down at his now empty hand and then up at Dark Pit. "What do you think you're playing at, punk?" he snarled, fire gathering in his throat. Wario, however, seemed to find this hilarious. He guffawed at the Koopa King until he choked on his garlic, and then turned to face Dark Pit, who looked at him unamused.

"Wario likes-a your style!" he cackled, "Why don't you-a sit with us?"

"No thanks, fatty," said Dark Pit, slinking off.

"Typical Pittoo," signed Palutena, as she watched the Pit-clone sit down away from anyone else, "He may seem cold-hearted, but really he's not all that bad…"

"Um, excuse me," said a young, feminine voice from behind her, "May I sit here?"

The green-haired goddess looked behind her and was faced with the slightly nervous-looking visage of Shantae, the half-genie hero.

"Oh, yes," smiled Palutena, as the young girl sat down. Soon after, a certain cyborg police officer sat down opposite her. It was Patricia Wagon.

"Oh," said Shantae, looking at Patricia, "You're… you're that other WayForward character… Patricia, that's it, right?"

"Absolutely!" smiled Patricia, "You're… err, Shantae? Right?"

"Uh-huh," replied Shantae, "Oh, did you know that in my up-and-coming game, I've got a costume based on you?"

"Really?"

"Yes…"

Meanwhile, at the other end if the hall sat a very different crowd...

**Bye!**

**I may be back!**


End file.
